Not all men: what I’ve learned As A woman working along with sex offendersThe Guardian #Sex_OffendersOctober 13, 2019
My stomach is tight and I’m shaken, but I need to complete this interview; I’ll deal with my feelings later.
I used to run treatment groups for sex offenders.
I felt, and still feel, safe, comfortable, and at home around men.
I’m on my way to interview Leo, a 37-year-old man I last evaluated a year ago.
“My therapist says I’m crying all the time because I’m off drugs for the first time in my life.
Instead I watch the real tears that run alongside them for the entire hour we speak.
It’s a pleasure for me to offer the space for her to grow and learn about how to do this challenging work.
What are you talking about?’ After I explained what had happened he was understanding about it, but the whole thing made me worried about how I was thinking about men – like they’re all kinda out of control sexually.”
I wanted to offer her something certain to hold on to, but all I could think of was to remind her that most sex offenders are men, but most men are not sex offenders.
I never tell them: “Don’t talk to strangers.” What if they’re lost and they need help?
Adult spanking is a curious thing. I mean, most of us did not like being spanked as children. We dreaded spankings, didn’t we? So, why do so many of us long to be spanked as adults. I think for some of us, it is for sexual pleasure. For others, it is to meet an emotional need. Maybe we feel we deserve it before we enjoy fucking. Some parts of society make women feel we are bad if we enjoy being fucked. So, maybe we feel better about our longing if we are punished first. I will tell you why I want you to spank me.